How to Find a Therapist That Gets You
Finding the right therapist is one of the most important steps in prioritizing your mental health. But with so many options out there, it can feel overwhelming to find someone who truly understands you and your unique needs. Therapy is a deeply personal experience, and it's essential to have a therapist who resonates with your struggles, values, and identity. Here’s a guide to help you find a therapist that really gets you.
1. Clarify What You Need
Before you begin your search, take a moment to reflect on what you’re looking for in therapy. Understanding your own needs will guide you in finding the right therapist for you. Consider the following questions:
What are the main issues I want to work through? Are you dealing with anxiety, trauma, depression, or relationship difficulties? Identifying your main concerns can help you find someone who specializes in those areas.
What type of therapy feels right for me? Therapy approaches vary—some are more structured (like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), while others are more exploratory (like psychodynamic therapy). Think about what type of approach would make you feel most comfortable.
What values are important to me in a therapist? Do you want a therapist who is culturally competent, LGBTQ+ affirming, or trauma-informed? Knowing these values ahead of time will help ensure you find a therapist whose approach aligns with your needs.
2. Seek Specialized Expertise
Not all therapists are the same, and some have specialized training in specific areas. If you’re dealing with a particular challenge, such as trauma, look for a therapist with experience in trauma-informed care. Similarly, if you identify as LGBTQ+ or come from a marginalized racial or ethnic background, it’s essential to find a therapist who understands those experiences.
For trauma: Look for therapists who use evidence-based trauma therapies, such as EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) or trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
For LGBTQ+ issues: Find a therapist who is affirming of sexual and gender identities and who is familiar with the unique challenges that LGBTQ+ individuals face.
For cultural competence: Choose a therapist who understands and respects your cultural background, particularly if you’ve experienced discrimination or marginalization.
3. Research Their Background and Approach
Once you've identified potential therapists, take some time to research their qualifications and therapeutic approach. Look at their website or online profile to understand:
Their credentials: Check their licenses, certifications, and any areas of specialization.
Their therapeutic style: Some therapists may describe their approach, such as being collaborative, directive, or more exploratory. Consider what resonates with you.
Their values: Many therapists will discuss their commitment to inclusivity, diversity, and creating a safe, non-judgmental space for clients. This is particularly important if you have specific identity-related needs, such as cultural or gender-related considerations.
A therapist’s profile should give you a good sense of whether their approach aligns with what you're seeking. If they mention values or practices that resonate with you, it’s a good sign.
4. Focus on Comfort and Connection
The relationship between you and your therapist is key to your progress. During your first session, pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel comfortable opening up? Does the therapist seem empathetic and non-judgmental? Do they listen attentively and ask questions that make you feel heard?
A good therapist should make you feel safe, respected, and validated. If you don’t feel this connection, it’s okay to try someone else. The therapeutic relationship is crucial, and it’s important to feel comfortable with the person you’re working with.
5. Consider Cultural and Identity Compatibility
It’s essential that your therapist not only respects your identity but understands the context in which you navigate the world. Whether you are a person of color, LGBTQ+, or belong to another marginalized group, make sure your therapist’s background or expertise aligns with your experiences.
For example, if you’re dealing with issues related to race, a therapist who understands the impact of systemic racism can provide meaningful support. Similarly, if you’re LGBTQ+, you want a therapist who is affirming and knowledgeable about the unique challenges faced by the community.
Cultural competence is about more than just being aware of your identity; it’s about having the skills to support you in navigating the complexities of your experiences in a healing, non-judgmental way.
6. Evaluate Practical Factors
Practical considerations also play a big role in finding the right therapist. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Location: Do you prefer in-person therapy, or is online therapy more convenient for you? With virtual options becoming more common, you have greater flexibility in choosing a therapist, regardless of their location.
Availability: Make sure the therapist’s schedule works with yours. Do they offer flexible hours? Can they see you regularly?
Cost: Therapy can be expensive, but many therapists offer sliding scale fees, or you may have insurance that covers some or all of the cost. Be upfront about your budget and ask about payment options to make sure therapy is accessible.
7. Trust Your Gut
Ultimately, the most important thing is to trust your instincts. After your first session, check in with yourself: Do you feel heard? Do you feel comfortable? Does the therapist seem to genuinely understand your struggles and respect your identity? Trust your intuition—if something feels off, don’t hesitate to seek someone else.
Finding a therapist is a process, and it may take a few tries to find the right person. Remember that therapy is about you and your needs, and you deserve someone who can support you in a meaningful and empowering way.
Conclusion
Finding a therapist that truly gets you is crucial for your mental health journey. By reflecting on your needs, seeking someone with relevant expertise, researching their approach, and prioritizing comfort and connection, you can find a therapist who understands and supports you. Don’t be afraid to take the time to find the right fit—your mental health is worth the effort, and the right therapist can make all the difference.
